MIcro Doses of Joy

Your Inner Voice Is Not Too Loud—It’s the Map

palarde@gmail.com (Pamela Larde) — Sun, 18 May 2025 19:10:54 GMT

Vision Begins Within

On Friday, I had the opportunity to speak to a global group of coaches about what it means to acknowledge and honor our inner voice. This is inspired by my absolute favorite chapter of my book, Joyfully Single - Chapter 8: Give Voice to Your Inner Voice. It was a life-giving experience to talk it out with this group of fellow coaches. The session was called “Giving Voice to Your Inner Voice: The Brave Work of Becoming Fully Known… to Yourself.” I'd love to share what I came away with, even as the facilitator of that deeply impactful session.

Vision is often described in terms of strategy... goals, growth plans, and long-term direction. But what I've found is some of the most meaningful guidance doesn’t come from planning tools or timelines. It rises from within. Our inner voice may surface through instinct, tension, a persistent idea, or a gentle reminder of what matters most to the soul. When we learn to recognize and respect this voice, we strengthen the connection between our leadership and our well-being.

Joy, Voice, and Alignment

Over the years, in my research and coaching, I’ve seen that joy is much deeper than an emotional experience. It’s a way of aligning how we live and lead. And alignment requires listening. Especially when what we hear comes from the quiet spaces we’ve overlooked. The inner voice often speaks through patterns. It calls attention to what feels misaligned. It reawakens parts of us that may have been set aside because they didn’t yet feel safe - like a hidden talent, an unspoken belief, or a lifelong dream we are afraid to bring to life.

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Shadow Work Is Reconnection

This is where the conversation about voice leads us to another important layer: shadow work. We often think of our shadows as things to hide or correct. But I’ve come to understand them differently. Our shadows are not inherently negative. They are often the parts of ourselves we haven’t explored. They were formed in response to past experiences—moments where protection became a priority. These parts stay in the background because that’s where safety was once found.

This view is supported by Dr. Richard Schwartz, creator of Internal Family Systems therapy and author of No Bad Parts. He teaches that all of our internal parts serve a purpose, even the ones that appear disruptive or out of sync. They may have taken on difficult roles, but they emerged to help us endure something hard. When approached with curiosity, these parts often reveal valuable insight and strength.

Shadow work, then, is not about fixing something. It’s about reconnecting. It invites us to hear the messages those parts are carrying and to integrate their wisdom into how we lead, relate, and grow. This work strengthens the clarity of our inner voice. When we listen across the full range of who we are, including the parts that have been quiet, we begin to build from a deeper place. That’s where sustainable leadership and personal direction come from.

The Research on Self-Awareness and Leadership

According to organizational psychologist Dr. Tasha Eurich, most people believe they are self-aware, but only about 10–15% truly are. Closing that gap starts with reflection and honest attention to what’s happening internally. And it continues with practices that create space for deeper listening.

In The Practice of Adaptive Leadership, Ronald Heifetz encourages us to spend time “on the balcony”—noticing the patterns in our work and responses. Your inner voice is often the one inviting you to pause, observe, and name what’s happening beneath the surface.

Ways to Begin Listening

Here are a few ways to begin or continue that work:

Notice where your energy rises and where it becomes depleted
Reflect on formative experiences and the beliefs they may have shaped
Observe the patterns in your work and relationships
Explore what parts of yourself you’ve paused or softened to fit in
Make time for silence, writing, or conversations that allow for reflection

There’s a quote I often return to by Rumi: “Maybe you are searching among the branches for what only appears in the roots.” Your inner voice often lives in those roots. It carries your insight, your story, your direction. It is not too loud. It is ready to be heard. And it just may be your clearest map forward.

The Polymath’s Advantage: Why Being Good at Many Things Isn’t a Flaw

palarde@gmail.com (Pamela Larde) — Mon, 05 May 2025 06:40:36 GMT

Know Thyself

I’ll never forget the moment I was told to choose.

More than a decade ago, I was attending a high-powered business mastermind. Each participant was asked to present a challenge they were facing in their business. When it was my turn, I brought forth a very real and complex challenge: I was running both a publishing company and a coach training academy. My question was how to differentiate their branding while maintaining a cohesive identity. How do I unify without diluting? Differentiate without creating confusion?

Before I could even finish explaining, the facilitator interrupted, “You need to let one of those go,” he said. “You’re doing too much. Pick one and get really good at it.”

The rest of the room began to chime in to echo his advice. His words landed with the weight of so many others I’d heard throughout my life: Focus. Pick a lane. You can’t do it all. But deep down, I knew this advice didn’t fit me. I was already deeply committed to both ventures—and they were thriving. They weren’t distractions. They were extensions of my calling.

I chose not to follow his advice. Instead, I successfully ran both businesses side-by-side for over 12 years, until I decided I was ready to move on. And in doing so, I learned to embrace what I now fully own: I am a polymath—and that is not a flaw. It is my superpower.

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What Is a Polymath?

The term polymath comes from the Greek polymathēs, meaning “having learned much.” It refers to individuals who pursue mastery or deep engagement in multiple fields. Think Barack Obama, Octavia Butler, Maya Angelou, or Neil deGrasse Tyson—people whose brilliance could never be contained within a single domain.

But being a polymath doesn’t require fame or exceptionalism in the traditional sense. It simply means being curious, adaptable, and multidimensional. It involves weaving together a life that honors all of who you are. In a world that often celebrates specialization, polymaths live in the intersections—where art meets science, where business meets storytelling, where coaching meets publishing, where sports meets advocacy.

Debunking the Myths About Polymaths

Despite centuries of polymathic brilliance, our culture still clings to myths that discourage multidimensional living. Let’s examine a few of these myths—and why they don’t hold up.

Myth #1: You Can Only Succeed If You Specialize

We’ve all heard it: focus on one thing and get really good at it. The problem with this advice is that it equates depth with singularity. But depth can come from integration just as much as specialization. Modern researchers are challenging the myth of the “specialist is always superior.” In his bestselling book Range: Why Generalists Triumph in a Specialized World, David Epstein argues that people with diverse experiences are often more innovative and successful—especially in complex, rapidly changing environments. Epstein references studies from sports, science, and technology that show how generalists, or polymaths, are often better at navigating uncertainty and synthesizing ideas from different fields. In other words: sometimes, breadth creates depth.

Myth #2: Polymaths Lack Focus

This myth assumes that if you have multiple interests, you must be scattered. But many polymaths demonstrate intense focus—just not forever on one thing. Psychologist Barbara Oakley, author of A Mind for Numbers, speaks to the value of “interleaved learning”—a process where learners switch between different subjects or skills. This approach actually improves long-term mastery because it engages more cognitive pathways and increases flexibility. We aren’t unfocused. We are dynamic.

Myth #3: Jack of All Trades, Master of None

Let’s set the record straight. The full version of that quote is: “Jack of all trades, master of none, but oftentimes better than master of one.” This longer version tells a different story—one of integration, adaptability, and expansive capability. And it aligns with a growing body of research showing that interdisciplinary thinkers often outperform narrow experts when it comes to creativity, innovation, and systems thinking. We are not people who haven’t found their lane. We are building our own roads.

The Science of Multipotentiality

Psychologist Emilie Wapnick popularized the term multipotentialite to describe people with many interests and creative pursuits. In her viral TED Talk, “Why Some of Us Don’t Have One True Calling,” she suggests that multipotentialites thrive when they embrace their diverse passions—and that trying to suppress them can lead to boredom, burnout, or lack of fulfillment. The science supports this. Here’s why polymathic people tend to excel:

Cognitive Flexibility: Polymaths are skilled at adapting, shifting between different modes of thought, and making connections across fields. This is linked to enhanced problem-solving and emotional resilience.
Transfer of Learning: Skills gained in one discipline often transfer to others. For example, coaching improves communication. Writing enhances critical thinking. Sports teach strategy and perseverance.
Multiple Intelligences: Howard Gardner’s theory reminds us that there isn’t just one way to be smart. Polymaths often activate many of these intelligences—from interpersonal to kinesthetic to intrapersonal.
And perhaps most importantly: polymaths are not just knowledge gatherers. We are meaning makers. We bring together disparate threads to create something new, something whole.

The Joy of a Polymath Life

For me, being a polymath is one of my greatest expressions of joy. If two ventures was too much, that mastermind crowd would gasp if they saw all that I am doing today.

Joy is not something I chase at the edges of my work; it is infused in all that I do. It shows up in the alchemy of creativity and connection. It lives in the moment when a student has a breakthrough, when a coaching client reclaims their agency, when a book finally goes to print, when I take the field and feel fully alive in my body. Joy is the glue that holds it all together. It is what allows me to navigate complexity with purpose and to flourish in the richness of a multifaceted life.

One of the most important findings from my research is that joy isn’t not a fleeting emotion. It is a practice, a framework for living, and for many of us, a strategy for well-being. In my EPIC Joy model, joy is sourced from four elements:

E stablishing well-being
P ositioning people
I ntegrating practices
C reating change

For a polymath, this means:

Cultivating well-being across multiple domains rather than forcing a choice between physical, creative, emotional, or professional vitality.
Surrounding yourself with people who honor your complexity rather than trying to simplify you.
Integrating joy into your routines rather than waiting until everything’s perfect in one area to feel fulfilled.
Creating change from a place of inner clarity, where all your gifts align to make an impact.

You Are Not Too Much—You Are Multidimensional

If you’ve ever been told you’re doing too much… If you’ve ever wondered whether your many passions are a liability instead of an asset… If you’ve ever tried to shrink yourself to fit into someone else’s model of success… This is your invitation to stop.

You are not too much. You are multidimensional.

And the world needs more people who can see across disciplines, connect the dots, and bring all of themselves into the work of healing, leading, creating, and transforming. Rather than cutting parts of ourselves away to meet external expectations, let’s ask a better question: “What brings me joy, meaning, and vitality—and how can I create space for it to belong?”

If we can make space to do the grueling work of sending emails we don't want to send and sitting in meetings that make our stomachs turn, surely, we can make space to push forth the parts of ourselves that are exhilarating, inspiring, and life-giving to the world. Integrating our gifts, lived experiences, and deepest callings is how we turn complexity into creativity—and purpose into power.

My Personal Plot Twist: An Unexpected Journey into Women’s Pro Football

palarde@gmail.com (Pamela Larde) — Wed, 19 Mar 2025 03:26:25 GMT

I didn’t plan this. I wasn’t searching for a new sport, a new dream, or a new version of myself. But in my late 40s, I found myself lacing up cleats and trying out for a women’s professional football team. Yes—football. The kind with helmets, pads, and full contact. What started as a spontaneous decision turned into a personal plot twist I never saw coming. And yet, looking back, it all makes sense. I’ve always carried a deep love for sport and an even deeper commitment to the power of women’s athletics. This is just the latest chapter in that story—maybe the most unexpected one yet.

A Lifetime of Love for Women’s Sports

For decades, women’s sports have been an uphill battle for visibility, recognition, and respect. Yet, every so often, a milestone reminds us that change is not only possible—it’s happening. One of those moments is on the horizon, and I am at the center of it. In this most unexpected stage of life—on the brink of being an empty-nester, I am finding that passion, drive, and purpose have no expiration date. A former Olympic hopeful, I have spent my life standing for women in sports—first as fan, then as an athlete, now as a voice.

My journey in sports began long before I put on a football jersey. As a young athlete, I trained at an elite level, even earning a shot at the Olympic trials. My passion extended beyond personal achievements, as I have always been a fierce advocate for women’s sports. Representation matters, and these opportunities must be created with intention, not passivity. The founder of the WNFC, Odessa Jenkins (OJ) has been relentless leader with an unapologetic vision, and I want to be a part of this movement. Women’s football, like many other underrepresented sports, has fought for respect in the mainstream sports world. But with the powerful push of OJ and the WNFC, major networks like ESPN and Victory+ are stepping in to broadcast games. The narrative is changing. We are shaping its future.

History in the Making

During Women's History Month, the Women's National Football Conference (WNFC) made the unprecedented announcement that the championship game will broadcasted on ESPN. Wow. What a statement that women belong in every space, at every stage of life, and in every sport—including football. In a world that often tells women to sit on the sidelines, we are stepping onto the field with a powerful message: we’re here, and we’re not going anywhere. As my teammates and I, along with the other teams in the WNFC, gear up for one of the highest levels of competition in women's football, we are playing for every young girl who has been told she didn’t belong in sports, and specifically in football. I am playing for every woman who has believed was too late to chase a dream. And we are playing for the future of women’s football.

Football is so much more than a personal challenge for me. It is a whole movement. Women’s sports deserve respect, coverage, and celebration. Athleticism isn’t bound by age or gender. I am reminded daily that the best opportunities don’t always come when we expect them. They come when we decide to keep showing up, pushing forward, and rewriting the rules.

When that championship game airs on ESPN, it will be a victory for every woman who has ever fought to be seen, heard, and respected in sports. Each step of progress matters. Tune into what's happening with women's sports. Cheer loudly. Support the movement. Get involved. Because when one woman breaks a barrier, she opens the door for countless others to follow.

This is a Movement. Let's lock in and make it happen.

#WomenInSports #FootballIsForWomen #BreakingBarriers #ESPN #RepresentationMatters

The Pause That Changes Everything: The Why Behind My EPIC Joy Retreat

palarde@gmail.com (Pamela Larde) — Wed, 12 Mar 2025 03:26:25 GMT

Why We Need to Step Away to Return to Ourselves

There’s a moment—maybe you’ve had it—when you realize your days are running together. The pings never stop, the calendar is overbooked, and the idea of resting feels like a distant luxury. You tell yourself you’ll slow down eventually. But “eventually” never shows up on your schedule. I’ve been thinking a lot lately about what it means to pause—not the kind of pause where you just collapse on the couch and scroll for an hour, but the kind that allows you to hear your own thoughts again. The kind that reconnects you to something deeper. It turns out, there’s science behind this need to unplug. Studies on decision fatigue, attention residue, and even creativity all point to one truth: our minds are not meant to function in constant motion. Taking intentional breaks—especially in nature or communal settings—doesn’t just feel good. It changes us.

We’re Wired for Connection, Not Just Conversation

Despite all the ways we stay “connected,” a lot of us feel... disconnected. Maybe you’ve noticed how exhausting small talk can be. What many of us are really craving are high-quality connections—the kind that go beyond surface-level exchanges. Researchers in psychology and neuroscience have shown that authentic connection boosts oxytocin levels, improves resilience, and even strengthens our immune systems. That’s powerful. And yet, it can be hard to come by. What would it look like to spend a few days surrounded by people who aren’t interested in pretending everything’s fine—but who are ready to talk about what it really means to grow, to heal, and to lead joyful lives?

Happiness Fades. Joy Stays.

One of the biggest insights I’ve gained in recent years is the difference between happiness and joy. Happiness is wonderful, but it’s usually tied to external circumstances—a promotion, a vacation, a compliment. Joy, on the other hand, has a way of showing up even in the messy, complicated chapters of our lives. It’s rooted in meaning, connection, and the quiet courage to keep showing up. What’s even more exciting is that joy isn’t something we either have or don’t have. It’s something we can practice. Research in positive psychology shows that joy thrives when we align our actions with our values, engage in daily gratitude, and carve out space for awe and reflection.

When You’re the Giver, Who Gives to You?

Let’s talk about something many people don’t say out loud: the exhaustion of being the strong one. The caregiver. The reliable one. When you’re the one others count on, it can be hard to admit that you’re running on empty. But burnout doesn’t announce itself with fireworks. It creeps in slowly—through irritability, brain fog, loss of motivation. The antidote? Radical replenishment. Not a quick fix, but real restoration—mentally, emotionally, physically. And yes, that means giving yourself permission to receive.

What if You Could Build a Life Where Joy Wasn’t an Afterthought?

We often think of joy as a bonus—something we’ll get to when everything else is handled. But what if joy was the starting point? What if we designed our lives around the practices, people, and places that make us feel whole? That question is what inspired the creation of the EPIC Joy Retreat —an experience designed not just to offer a temporary escape, but to help you build a more intentional, joyful way of living. Yes, it includes immersive workshops, wellness practices, and time in the natural beauty of Costa Rica. But more than that, it offers the space to come back to yourself—and leave with a blueprint you can carry forward.

The Bigger Picture

Whether you join a retreat, take a solo day away from your regular routine, or simply carve out ten minutes of silence this week, remember this: choosing yourself isn’t a detour from your purpose—it’s a return to it. If you're curious about what that could look like in community, I’d love to share more about the journey we’re curating this July. But either way, I hope you find your way back to what lights you up. Because joy isn’t something we stumble upon. It’s something we choose—again and again.